mercutio and tybalt's death
by Mrs.Aldo Raine
Summary: Me and my friends made a comady style version of Mercutio and Tybalt's death for English and I figured I'd post it.  RIP Justice, he's a friend of mine who played Prince Escalus when we preformed this in class. RIP I'll never forget you 3


_Benvolio walks in being dragged by Mercutio._

Benvolio(Whiny): Mercutio! I'm tired! It's too hot out! We're gonna get in a fight! These are new clothes! Carry me! _Tries to jump into Mercutio's arms_

Mercutio: _pushes off. _Bad Ben-Ben. No. its nice out. Now stop whining and suck it up!_ Saunters_ Now, Chill. You're acting like a kid.

Benvolio: _Whininess_ L

Mercutio: SHUT. YOUR. PIEHOLE. Jeez I should…

Benvolio: Do what? WHAAT?

Mercutio: stop arguing.

Benvolio: Nnngh! L

Mercutio: Shush

_Tybalt enters_

Benvolio:___staring wide eyed. Whimpers_ I TOLD CHUUU!

Mercutio: Who gives a jitterbug.

_Tybalt walks over menacingly._

_Benvolio screams when Tybalt moves. Jumps into Mercutio's arms._

Mercutio: Hello…_cough_Flapper_cough_

Tybalt: _ignores_ I'm here for Romeo.

Mercutio: (big speech tone_)_Oh? For what? HM? HUH? OH? Why do you need- ?

Tybalt: SHUT UP! Jeezy Creezy.

_Romeo enters skipping and twirling a fedora._

Tybalt: _watches_ okay go away. _Makes to walk away_

Mercutio: _grabs _EH EH EHHHHHHH

Tybalt: _growls_ let go of me.

Mercutio: Leave Romano-

Benvolio: Romeo

Mercutio: Romeo alone.

_Tybalt laughs at Mercutio_

Tybalt: you can't even remember his name and you expect me _**not **_to kill him? Besides he came to my uncle's party and he's a _Montague._

Mercutio: it's my fault. I pushed him into it.

Tybalt(angrily) : You brought him _draws sword._ Draw your sword then and pay for what you did!

Benvolio(whiny): Why can't he just pay with money. I wanna go home.

Tybalt: No he must pay with his life.

_Tybalt lunges at Mercutio. Mercutio jumps out of the way and draws his sword. Mercutio jumped at a few more blows. Mercutio starts humming Pirates of the Caribbean tune. Clashes swords in an x formation._

Tybalt: What are you humming?

Mercutio: Pirates of the Caribbean.

Tybalt: Oh.

_They continue fighting. Then Benvolio walks over to Romeo._

Benvolio(Whiny): Romeo make them stop. Mer-Mer gonna get hurt.

Romeo: Mer-Mer? Fine. I'll stop them. Cause I'm the hero like that in this awesome story.

Benvolio: YEAH~! HERO~!

Romeo: Alright ladies stop fighting.

Tybalt: Dude I'm a guy.

Mercutio: Yeah same here.

Romeo: Well stop fighting.

Mercutio& Tybalt: No!

_Tybalt and Mercutio continue fighting. Romeo jumps in and tries to separate them._

Mercutio: Move Romeo let me destroy the king of cats.

Romeo: Nope. I'm standing right here.

_Puts his hands on his hips. Mercutio stands right at a hole between his arm and his side. Tybalt sees this and stabs through his arm. Romeo yelps and leaps to the side cutting his wrist when bringing his wrist over the sword but doesn't notice. Mercutio has been stabbed._

Benvolio: Mer-Mer you've been hurt.

Tybalt: Jeezy Creezy. _Runs away_

Mercutio: nah it's only a scratch.

Benvolio: _lifts Mercutio's shirt a little to reveal a deep wound. _OH MY GOD I LOVE YOUR SHIRT! Man that is not a scratch. _Benvolio pulls out a handkerchief and starts to clean Mercutio's' wound._

Mercutio: (Whispering) Romeo. I know about you and Juliet.

Romeo: What!

_Mercutio coughs and nods. _

Mercutio: Benvolio! Take me to the house. (Murmured) Where I may die in peace. _Benvolio nods and helps him up. _I hate you all! It's both of your fault, Romeo and Tybalt, that I'm going to die! I hate you all!

_Benvolio takes him into the house._

Romeo: _Talking to no one _what did he mean by 'I'm going to die!'

_Benvolio runs out of the Montague house. _

Benvolio: Romeo! Rooommmeeeoooo!

Romeo: What?

Benvolio: It's Mercutio! He's _Sniffles_. He's-

Romeo: He's what?

Benvolio: Mer-Mer's dead!

Romeo: What Mer-Mer… Mercutio's dead. _Clenches fist_ It's all that da-_Benvolio clears throat._

Benvolio: Romeo keep this PG.

Romeo: _glares at Benvolio _darn Tybalt's fault. He stabbed Mercutio! I must kill him

_Romeo takes off running. Benvolio slowly follows._

Benvolio: Romeo no!

_Romeo runs right into Tybalt and lands on the ground._

Romeo: You killed Mercutio! Either you or I or both of us will join him.

Tybalt: Fine I will now kill you.

_Draws sword. Romeo copies. The fight. Romeo trips and lands on the ground as Benvolio shows up. Tybalt lunges at him and Romeo holds up his sword and stabs Tybalt. Tybalt then dies._

Benvolio: _less then thrilled voice. _Oh no Romeo look what you've done. Run. Run Romeo run.

_Romeo takes off running as Prince Escalus and Montague and Capulet arrived with their ladies. _

Prince Escalus: Benvolio what happen?

Benvolio: Well Mercutio and I were walking around and I wanted to go home but noooo so then Tybalt came out and Mercutio was all up in his grill and Romeo came skipping along like ladeda and Tybalt went to attack him like wazzam and Mercutio stopped him like mayaww then the two of them fought like aklalam then Mercutio was killed by Tybalt which made Romeo mad and Romeo chased Tybalt like do do da da do da da do do and killed him and then you guys arrived and the prince asked what happen and I said 'well Mercutio and I -'

Prince Escalus: Okay we get it. Well because Romeo killed Tybalt for me he will only be banished. Romeo is here now banished from Lithuania. He must move Poland now!

Benvolio: Nooooooo

Prince Escalus: Yes

Benvolio: Noooooo

Prince Escalus: Yes

Benvolio: Nooooooo! I'll tell him to send a postcard.

_Skips off stage._

END SCENE

BONUS SCENE_Mercutio and Tybalt lay there on the ground. Mercutio sits up. Tybalt follows his lead._

Tybalt: Dunkin Donuts?

Mercutio: Dunkin Donuts.

Tybalt& Mercutio: Dunkin Donuts. Shakespeare runs on Dunkin.

_Benvolio slides in. _

Benvolio: Mer-Mer you're alive! _gasp_ are those donuts?

_Benvolio runs off stage. Mercutio jumps up and chases him._

Mercutio: Ben-Ben! Don't leave me!


End file.
